Your spouse is more important than sex – Counselor Adofoli

counsellor

The reason why many employees don’t give out their best at their various workplaces has a lot to do with their bosses’ or leaders’ attitudes.

Instances are cited where money is given more importance than them, forgetting the fact that they helped in making the money; where the products or results from their actions is more essential to their employers than the employees’ welfare.

Regardless of your health, you have to be at work, failure to do so can lead to you being replaced or receiving less pay. What you go through to be at work doesn’t really matter to the employer; what they care about is you being at work on time. This leaves employees feeling unsafe and insecure, unhappy, living in fear, not bringing out their best and they start looking for better offers elsewhere.

This is a perfect picture of a lot of marriages. Spouses turn out to love properties, children and what they get from their spouse more than their spouses themselves. Their spouse is made to feel that these stuffs are more important than them.

You owe me food; I don’t care what you go through to get me the food once I have given you money. Whether I am sick or not, all you want is to see your dinner ready in the evening. I want sex; I don’t care about your mood, as far as I am married to you, all that matters to me is my sex.

I need money, whether you have it now or not, how you get it is the least of my concern.

Your children mean the world to you but their mother or father who happens to be your spouse, you want almost nothing to do with. Had it not been for the children this marriage would have been over.

Your phone, laptop, WhatsApp chat, favourite TV programme, etc. are more important to you than your spouse; you can’t afford to miss these things but you don’t mind missing your spouse.

One thing you forget is that, before God gave you the sex, children, food and all the other stuff you have as a result or products of your marriage or relationship, He first gave you your partner, therefore they come first. Without your partner you will not have those things, yet you value those things above your partner.

Being a husband means you are the leader, you lay down your life for her, you first give her food before you eat. You are a leader because you want to protect, provide and appreciate your wife but not to be selfish and self-centered.

You are a wife because you want to serve your husband, honour and respect him like you will respect Jesus Christ. You support and believe in him. If God gives you a building, the building shouldn’t become more important than Him. You make Him more important so He can bless you more. In the same way don’t make the results you get from a relationship become more important than your partner. Make your partner more important so they can give out their best.

To love is to sacrifice; it is love that leads you to marriage. If you are not ready to sacrifice everything for your spouse, you are not ready for marriage. For the married always remember your vows, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold till the end of time. It’s not how much you say those words but how much you put them into action; it’s about how committed you are to them.

Whenever you make anything in your marriage more important than your spouse, you are breaking your own vow.

In conclusion “It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it” – Ecclesiastes 5:5 (NLT).

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